Waiting on God for a relationship is not just about patience; it is about preparation. Many people desire a healthy, God-centered relationship, but few are truly prepared for it. Before we are ready to receive God’s best, we often go through different stages of personal growth. These stages refine us, teaching us valuable lessons about love, wisdom, and faith. Understanding these stages can help you find peace in your preparation season and embrace the journey God has designed for you.
Stage 1: The Naïve Stage
In this stage, a person enters relationships or desires one with little understanding of what a godly partnership requires. They may have unrealistic expectations, believing that love is purely emotional or that it will solve their personal struggles. This stage is often characterized by:
- Relying on worldly ideals of romance rather than biblical principles.
- Believing that a relationship will bring fulfillment instead of seeking fulfillment in Christ.
- Ignoring red flags or wisdom from mentors and the Holy Spirit.
The Bible warns against naivety in Proverbs 14:12: “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death.” Many people in this stage pursue relationships that feel right in the moment but lead to pain and confusion. The key to moving forward is seeking wisdom and allowing God to shape your understanding of love.
Stage 2: The Comfortable Stage
After experiencing disappointment or learning from others, a person may enter the comfortable stage. Here, they recognize the dangers of naive decisions but become complacent in their singleness. They may even tell themselves, “If it happens, it happens,” without actively growing in preparation for a godly relationship. This stage often includes:
- Being at peace with singleness but not actively preparing for marriage.
- Becoming passive in spiritual growth and emotional maturity.
- Settling for friendships or situationships that lack clear direction.
While contentment is good, comfort without growth is dangerous. Paul reminds us in Philippians 3:14, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Your waiting season is not a time to be idle—it’s a time to grow, serve, and prepare for the future God has for you.
Stage 3: The Immature Stage
This stage happens when comfort turns into compromise. A person may grow impatient with God’s timing and decide to take matters into their own hands. They may knowingly enter relationships that do not align with God’s will, ignoring their convictions and seeking temporary satisfaction. This stage is marked by:
- Making impulsive relationship decisions out of loneliness or impatience.
- Ignoring the Holy Spirit’s warnings and biblical principles.
- Experiencing heartbreak or disappointment due to poor choices.
The danger of this stage is that if a person does not repent, they continue in their immaturity indefinitely. Proverbs 19:3 warns, “A person’s own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart rages against the Lord.” Some blame God for their heartbreak when, in reality, their choices led them there.
The Turning Point: Repentance and Transformation
At some point, the immaturity stage may lead to a painful mistake that brings a person to repentance. This is when they begin to seek God wholeheartedly, not just for a relationship, but for transformation. They come to understand the true weight of their choices and the importance of surrendering their desires to God. This stage leads to refinement and readiness.
1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Repentance is not just about saying sorry—it’s about turning away from immature behaviors and truly seeking God’s wisdom.
The Refined Stage: Being Ready for a Relationship
The refined stage is where a person is truly prepared for a godly relationship. They have learned from their past, grown spiritually, and become emotionally mature. This stage is characterized by:
- A deep relationship with God that is not dependent on external validation.
- Clear boundaries and standards for relationships based on biblical principles.
- Patience and trust in God’s perfect timing, rather than rushing into something prematurely.
James 1:4 encourages us, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” God does not just want us to be in a relationship; He wants us to be ready for the responsibility that comes with it.
Finding Peace in Your Preparation Season
If you find yourself waiting for a relationship, remember that this season is not a punishment—it is a preparation. God is using this time to shape you into the person He has called you to be.
- Seek God First – Matthew 6:33 reminds us, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” A relationship should never replace your relationship with God.
- Embrace Growth – Use this time to develop your character, strengthen your faith, and pursue your purpose.
- Trust God’s Timing – Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.” God’s timing is perfect, and He knows what is best for you.
When you focus on becoming the right person rather than just finding the right person, you position yourself to receive God’s best. Stay patient, stay faithful, and trust that God’s plan is always worth the wait.
