Singleness is a state to be pursued even in marriage. Because singleness means being fulfilled within Jesus no matter what your relationship status is. But while we are navigating the single season, we also need to prepare for marriage if we believe that God has called us to be married. In this Post I will give Practical advice on how to prepare for marriage while single.
Foundational Knowledge:
- You don’t have to be married to be fulfilled – Your fulfillment comes from Jesus. You need to be going into marriage already fulfilled. Not for the other person to fulfill you. It’s unfair to them because they can’t fulfill you, only Jesus can.
- Sometimes you are still single because you are not prepared for marriage yet – If you go into marriage unprepared, you may destroy it. It may be that you haven’t met the person you need to marry yet, because you need to work on you. You need to develop your patience, selflessness and mindset. Build your habits and get healed from your trauma.
Ways To Prepare Yourself For Marriage:
Don’t Compare Yourself With Anyone Else
Don’t envy people that are married. Be content in whatever state you are in. Marriage is a gift that was given to us by God. But if you get stuck in desiring marriage and comparing yourself with people that are married, you may miss the blessings of your single season. The bible says that there is a time for everything. There is a time to be single and a time to be married. Every season is meant to teach you something and prepare you for the next one. You should maximize, enjoy and be content in your single season.
Don’t Believe The Lies of The Enemy
The devil is a master deceiver and liar. He may tell you lies like: you are not attractive; You are too old to get married; your standards are too high and countless more lies. You should know what the word of God says about you. You should use the Bible to counter attack the lies of the Devil. The word of God is the sword of the Spirit. It is a weapon we can use against the Lies of the enemy. The enemy will have to flee when you speak the word of God against him. Putting on the armor of God is essential against the attacks of the devil.
Don’t be Desperate
Someone who is desperate lacks security and confidence within God which leads them to chasing. When two people like each other they should confess their feelings to each other mutually. Nobody should be chasing. Not being desperate means you can walk away when the feelings are not mutual. You are so confident and secure within God, that you can move on without having to chase. Not being desperate is trusting that what God has for you will be yours.
Don’t Be Too Picky
Not being too picky means that you shouldn’t be too stuck on your “type” that you miss the right person for you. Don’t get me wrong, there should be mutual attraction. But you shouldn’t be so stuck on an attribute of a person that you write off all the person’s character for their looks. Because at the end of the day looks can change. But the way someone treats you will be more important. Just make sure that you don’t miss a great blessing being too stuck on your type.
Don’t Settle
The spiritual aspect is an aspect where you shouldn’t settle. The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. You should strive to be with someone that respects and honors God. Someone that strives to have the Character of Jesus which is love. Jesus is the foundation of marriage. Jesus is the Groom that layed his life down for his bride the church. Through having the character of God both of you can mutually love each other through Christ.
Build Your Relationship With God
Paul has written in 1 corinthians 7 “how to navigate your single season”. The best way to maximize and enjoy your singleness is to spend your time in the presence of the Lord. Single people should be on fire for the Lord. attend seminars, conferences & serve in the church. Be fervent for the Lord, you have no restrictions when it comes to doing the will of God.
Fulfill Purpose
fulfilling purpose means cultivating and developing the gift God has given to you. Your gift is within you. It is something you enjoy and have passsion for. If you don’t know what your gift is, Pray and ask God. He will show you the gift He has given to you. When you master the gift you have, you will become relevant and needed in the area of your expertise. You will be able to make an impact on earth for Jesus and build the life God has for you. Fulfilling your purpose will be the essential key to connecting you to your purpose partner.
Take Care of Yourself Mentally as well as Physically
Your mental self-care and physical self-care is very important. You should make sure you are mentally healthy before getting married. Get healed from childhood trauma; Work on your insecurities; get rid of bad habits; and deal with everything that you need to deal with to make your marriage succesful. Because Marriage is a magnifier. Everything that you haven’t dealt with before marriage will be magnified within marriage and may cause serious problems.
Your physical self-care entails your health and maintenance. Make sure you are exercising, eating healthy and taking in your vitamins. find something you enjoy and make it your hobby. Try different diets and healthy meals. Consult with your doctor and find the right system to help you to take care of your health. Physical maintenance means looking and feeling your best. Make sure you have a self-care maintenance routine where you go over all the areas of your appearance and hygiene. Because the first thing people see when they look at you is your physical appearance. Making a good first impression will be highly beneficial.
Get a Solid Understanding of What Marriage is all About
It is important to know what you are getting into when you get married. Before you sign a contract you have to go through all the rules and regulations to know what you are getting into. It is the same with marriage. The bible has the best explanation of what mariage is all about. Reading the bible; Speaking with married couples that are in healthy marriages; going to singles conferences are all ways to gain knowlegde about marriage. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to ask questions that are unclear to you. Feel free to explore the knowledge of marriage to get the best out of your future marriage.