How To Deal With Offense

 

How to Deal With Offense

Offense—whether intentional or unintentional—is something we all encounter in life. It’s defined as annoyance or resentment caused by a perceived insult or disregard. Proverbs 17:9 reminds us, “He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love.”

While forgiveness is a noble goal, it’s not always easy to achieve. Letting go of offense requires intentional effort, humility, and reliance on God. In this blog, we’ll explore practical steps to help you navigate and overcome offense.

Step 1: Assess the Situation

The first step when you’re offended is to pause and assess the situation. Start by examining yourself—this is the only aspect you can control. Ask yourself, “Did I do something wrong in this situation?”

Invite the Holy Spirit into this process. He can provide clarity, helping you see the situation from the right perspective. The answer will be one of two things:

1. Yes, I did something wrong.
2. No, I did nothing wrong.

Once you’ve identified where you stand, move on to the next step.

Step 2: Respond Accordingly

If You Were in the Wrong

Take responsibility for your actions and correct the wrong as soon as you recognize it. This may require humility, but it’s a vital step toward healing.

Even if the other person isn’t immediately ready to accept your apology, do your part. Give them time and space to process their emotions and forgive. Trust God to guide you in how to make amends, and pray for wisdom in handling the situation with grace.

If You Were Not in the Wrong

Evaluate the person who offended you and the nature of the relationship. Ask yourself, “Is this worth addressing?”

• For a Stranger: It’s often wise to let offenses from strangers go. Their actions may have little lasting impact on your life, and holding on to resentment only burdens you.
• For Close Friends or Family: Offenses from loved ones can cut deeper due to the trust and connection you share. In these cases, take time to determine if the situation requires a response or if it’s better to let it go.

Step 3: Handling Close Relationships

With family or close friends, consider the nature of the offense before deciding how to respond. Ask yourself:

• Does this offense threaten my relationship with God?
• Does it hinder my ability to fulfill my purpose?
• Does it affect my mental, emotional or physical well-being?

If the answer is no to these questions, it may be best to let the offense go. Reacting unnecessarily can strain the relationship over something minor. However, if the offense does impact these key areas, a loving and honest conversation may be necessary.

In such cases, set boundaries and communicate with kindness. Healthy boundaries protect your relationship while fostering mutual respect and understanding.

Conclusion

No matter the situation, always seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit first. He will lead you through God’s Word, offering insight and clarity that you may not see on your own. Offenses can often appear different when viewed from His perspective.

Ultimately, the goal is forgiveness. Look to the love of God as your example. He forgives our offenses and calls us to do the same for others. In Matthew 22:39, Jesus commands us to love our neighbors as ourselves. This love reflects the grace God has shown us—even when we didn’t deserve it.

Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it is possible through Christ. When we rely on His strength, we can overcome offense, extend grace, and walk in the freedom of God’s love.